No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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