remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
