I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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