Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
