can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
