Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
