is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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