are you so shy because you have an std?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize