how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
