You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize