C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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