just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
