She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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