Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
