come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
