Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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