If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
