I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
