i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
