Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
