I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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