I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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