guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize