You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
