I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
