How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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