booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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