I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
