matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
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Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
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i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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