im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And then he peed in my hair
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