You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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