I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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