i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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