hell yes lets make some ravioli
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
