i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
