she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize