how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
