it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
