I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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