so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
