We named our party play list daddy issues
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
