Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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