if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
