Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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