i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
