I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
