So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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