I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
