you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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