His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
