it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
