Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
