its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
