Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
