She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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