I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
