I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
