I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
