just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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