My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
