He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
