So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
BRING THE BAGELS
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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